Self-reflection

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In a conversation with the girls one day, we unanimously agreed that we do not like showing our weak side to people. On further thought, it is not only my weak side that I hate showing; I also hate showing my ugly side.

We talked about our flaws today, and I realise how truly flawed I am. I have never been under any sort of delusion that I am flawless, but until today I have never thought that I had such a long list of flaws. But when forced to articulate your flaws, to think on it and say it out loud, all these ugly words tumble out; coarse, vulgar words that paint you black. 

And maybe I am changing for the worse. More cynical, more willing to believe the bad in others, more willing to condemn, where before I always assumed people were good and nice till something proves otherwise. When did this happen? When did I become so critical and judgmental? I do not know. Did it occur the moment I stepped into law school? Is it the people around me? Can I blame it on my environment? I would like to, but that would only be a half-truth. I think the majority of the fault still lies with me, in letting myself be swayed and influenced. And I am not sure that I like the sort of person I'm becoming.

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"The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don't mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of person exists only in our imaginations."

- Scott Adams