F-M-L EPISODE.

this is going to be a rather vulgar and extremely verbose post filled with rage and ugliness, so be warned.

i contemplated locking this post in my lj, like i usually do for all my excessively emotional posts, but i've decided i need to "publicly" vent my anger or i won't be appeased.

what am i doing here, when i'm supposed to be desperately cramming for the equity paper that i already know i can't finish studying for? because i'm so fucking pissed at the idiot i met today that if i don't tell the whole world about it i might explode and die and turn into an evil ghost doomed to haunt this world.

today started out fine. i left the house determined to go cram for equity at the amk library. on the way out of the house i met the security guard uncle who came up to check on the renovations going on next door, and he smiled and greeted me and held the elevator door for me so i was in a good mood 'cause i like meeting nice friendly people.

but everything went downhill the moment i reached the bus stop. seated there, was a seriously fat ah beng. now i'm not anti-fat people at all, i never describe people as fat, but seriously, he was just obese. there's no other way to describe him. with him was a skinny friend who was standing. so we were all waiting at the bus stop, and the buses took really long to come. so i guess they got bored, and needed to find some entertainment. which came in the form of...you guessed it, ME. i was just innocently standing there, a few metres away, flipping through my Hayton textbook to see how much i had to cram and just minding my own business.

so they start talking to each other in low voices, presumably about me because i feel them glance my way. i don't give any response or look their way. and then it got louder and i hear:
Skinny Beng: "...think she's Korean...looks like..."
Fat Beng: "korean! face so FUCKED UP, korean" -SNORT
i swear he raised his voice just so i could hear. maybe even the girl sitting there with her earphones on could hear too. i wasn't sure he was talking about me, so i didn't respond, and continued flipping through my textbook. Skinny Beng muttered something in response and there was momentary silence.
then Fat Beng (who was sitting facing me): "now what time already, still bother to go to school" (he put it an a cruder way actually)
since i was the only one who looked like a school kid (there were only two other people at the bus stop - an auntie and the older girl with earphones on), presumably it was meant for me. no response on my part.
Fat Beng: "EH you some -insert insults for nerds/smart people and hokkien profanities- ARH"
Skinny Beng says something in a low tone, presumably to ask his friend to cut it out.
period of silence, in which his voice and words rang in my ears and my rage meter climbed exponentially. bus rolls to a stop, and FML they get onto the same bus AND sit one seat behind me! bus is filled with elderly sitting nearer to the front. the Bengs talk loudly behind me about inconsequential things, Fat Beng peppering the conversation with $%(*@*!#~. ten minutes into the journey, i was kinda cold, so i put on my sweater.

Fat Beng takes it as a cue to continue his jibes, and says something about a nice sweater in a loud sarcastic tone that maybe only half the bus could hear.
Skinny Beng: "...can you stop it!? ...she's my neighbour...-mutter mutter-"
god forbid i have such a neighbour who hangs out with people like that! please do not EVER let them appear in front of me again.
Fat Beng: -mutters something in response- "...why so ACT...act like what like that...-profanities-"
Skinny Beng decides that it is enough, and proceeds to alight one (or a few) stop(s) earlier than their designated stop. Fat Beng curses a slew of obscenities and refuses to budge from the back of the bus until the bus stops and Skinny Beng really alights.
-----

seriously, FML. well first of all i'm so sorry my face is so "FUCKED UP" and given how half my face was covered by my shades i'm sure you had a really good look at it. sorry i'm such an eyesore. SO SORRY MY PLASTIC SURGERY JOB WAS BOTCHED. and i'm so sorry for trying to act anything in my typical singaporean get-up of singlet, shorts and flip-flops which, WHY! it looks almost like what you're wearing! except your tee is mud-colored. also, SORRY I'M SMARTER THAN YOU. WTF WHY SHOULD I APOLOGIZE TO YOU. i swear, if he wasn't three times my size and his arm wasn't thicker than my thigh, i would have glared at him. i would. poor malay lady who got up the bus (after the sweater remark) and sat next to me could probably sense the waves of rage rolling off me, because she suddenly turned to give me a very concerned glance, even though i didn't so much as twitch or change my stony expression throughout the ride. that was how furious i was. who are you to judge. fuck your life seriously. i hope you fall into a drain and get stuck -childish curse- I'M STILL VERY INDIGNANT.

/rant
/deep breath