The significance of a word.

A recent social issue that recently surfaced is bothering me so much that I am having trouble sleeping. My mind just keeps circling around the word why. Why can't they understand. Why do so many people think it's trivial. Why can't they see that rape is a horrific crime. Why do they think it's okay to just banter that word about.

I do not want to recount the saga again. This is not a post specifically about it. This is a post about rape culture in general, a look at what happens in a society where rape is not regarded as the horror that it is. I apologise in advance if this is not entirely coherent, because I am so clouded with frustration and emotion. And it is 4 am in the morning after all.

Just looking at the word 'rape' should bring to mind all the horror of the crime, the violence, the twistedness and cruelty of the perpetrator and the helplessness of the victim. How intrinsically wrong it is. It should not be a word used flippantly. It should not be funny. It should not be entertaining. It should not be a joke.

Rape culture exists. It might not present itself as being prominent here compared to elsewhere, because it has never been an issue that has been focused on and widely talked about. But I believe it exists, to a certain extent. And it should not be allowed to spread.

Several prominent cases come to mind. The Steubenville rape case. Rehtaeh Parsons. Cases from the US, where laws are progressive and there is a focus on fundamental rights and liberties of individuals. These cases involved gang rapes which were filmed and subsequently shared on social media and spread around the respective schools for the fun of it, as entertainment. Rape culture is not the act of rape itself. Rape culture is the public's reactions to the crime and the idea of it. The victims were ridiculed, taunted, called a 'slut', shamed and blamed for what happened to them.

In the case of Rehtaeh Parsons, she committed suicide because she could not take the shaming. In the Steubenville case, the school and the community blamed the victim and covered up for the perpetrators, and the media painted the case as one of young boys having fun and having their bright futures ruined. In another recent case in Maryville, Missouri, the victim and her family were threatened after they brought rape charges; the community rallied around the perpetrators. The victim's mother was fired from her job, the family had to move out of town and their house was burned down.

That, is rape culture. The above examples are extreme manifestations of it. Manifestations of what has been allowed to take root and slowly fester in a community. The reactions of the youths and peers of the victim and perpetrators when the "crime" first came to light; making light of it, sharing it around as a joke. Something to find funny. Then when things became serious, the community started covering it up, playing it down or making excuses for it, portraying it as 'boys being boys', 'just having fun', 'no big deal'.

And that is where it starts. When you start to think something is no big deal. 

St Mary's University in Halifax recently came under the spotlight for sexist chants performed at orientation that advocated rape and underage sex; lines from the chant spelt out "U is for underage", "N for no consent". An article on rape culture stated that some students "had felt uncomfortable but were afraid to speak up. Many, however, didn't feel they had done anything wrong. The chant was just a dumb joke, a way of pulling nervous freshmen out of their shells - besides, it was no worse than anything in a Robin Thicke video. "A lot of them just didn't think about it. In the same way we say, 'It's just a perfume commercial. It's just a music video'...It was just a chant," Whynacht [Halifax sociology professor] says.

"There has been a lot of talk about 'rape culture' but I think many people are missing the point. We are talking about it as if it exists somewhere 'out there'," say Whynacht. Instead, rape culture is embedded in hip-hop videos, beer commercials and video games - anything that sends a message that rape is sexy, masculine and cool. "Rape is culture"...

"Rape jokes and photos of young women in sexually compromised situations join the never-ending stream of images on Facebook news feeds and “instead of seeing sexual violence as violence, we see it as entertainment,” [Johnstone] says."

Some say it is a song sung to boost morale. Why are you boosting morale by singing a song that depicts such horrific violence? No matter how tired and frustrated and weary one is with one's situation and miseries, does it really justify channeling your anger and frustration into singing with gusto about doing such violence to others? Does it?? I am in no way belittling the sufferings of our young men, whether physical or emotional. Indeed, I respect them for having to go through two years of gruelling training and surviving it. But nothing, nothing justifies trivializing rape or anything that indicates that rape is condoned. I am focusing on the word here and the significance of it. The issue here is rape and the trivialization of it. If you are not against rape then you are for it. There is no in-between.

Then some say that when they are just tired to the bone and putting one leg in front of the other, they do not even think about the lyrics. Honestly I can't decide which is more chilling; the fact that people sing and think it is okay, or the fact that they sing without thinking about the significance of such words. In the former, they think it is normal. In the latter, they do not even care. If as some say you really just sing without thinking and to you it is just the cadence and rhythm that keeps you moving on, then any other phrase would suit just fine. So why are people insisting on singing this particular vile phrase? If you sing it and actually think this particular turn of phrase boosts your morale and energises you, then aren't you essentially relishing in the violence / sense of control / domination it connotes?

I really do not see why the organisation or feminists are being targeted. Would the reaction have been different if it was another group who had voiced it out? Does it matter? This is not about gender/sex, not men vs women, not about organisations who should or should not be voicing out. "Rape is a culture-wide problem and anyone who does not actively resist rape culture perpetuates it."